Color Me Butterfly

Someone once said: “Our daughters are the true treasures of the earth.  It is our duty to unearth these treasures and polish them with sacred care and love.”    Well said . . .
 
As the mother of a 23 year old daughter, I concur everso strongly.  I believe that in today’s trying times, it is all the more urgent for us to instill in our daughters the importance of honoring themselves— physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.  And it is our duty as mothers and fathers to give them the tools to do so.

Recently I was silenced by a story on CNN about teen girls at a Massachusetts high school who’d made a pact to get pregnant and raise the babies together.  What is happening to our world when we hear stories like this?  More importantly, what’s happening to our daughters? 

Our daughters seem to have lost their way—become vulnerable and fallen prey to the highest rates of teen pregnancy, dating violence, mental illness, STDs, low to no self esteem, lack of self respect and self worth.  There is much to do about this—to overturn the negative cultural mores that have begotten our daughters.

My daughter is beautiful!  Absolutely lovely.  When I visit with her, she often steals my breath away.  She steals it away because although she’s beautiful on the outside, I have to consistently remind her to pull back the layers and reveal her true beauty—her Inner Beauty.  I have to remind her that the exterior is only a cover-up to the interior—that the greatest joys in life come from the inside out.  And whenever she forgets this, I’m there to remind her . . .

I tell her that she is whole whenever she feels broken.
I tell her that she is bright whenever she feels dull.
I tell her that she is intelligent whenever she feels inadequate.
I tell her that she is worthy whenever she feels worthless.
I remind her of her self values and self respect whenever it evades her.
I reinforce that she deserves the best—the very best—that life has to offer.

My daughter and I don’t always agree.  She tells me that I muddle too much.  I remind her that it’s my job to muddle (though at times I do acquiesce and allow her to navigate her way through life’s lessons).   

Parents must 'muddle' whenever possible.  Our daughters, are indeed, the treasures of the earth so let us always be reminded of their sparkling destinies.  Let us guide our daughters to build bridges to life’s greatest pathways.  Moreover, let us hold  them close and help them shine as the jewels that they are.

Let us, more than ever, take back our daughters.

On Tuesday evening, I had the distinct pleasure to be a part of an event that moved me to near tears.  This event was not only attended by anyone who is any one (service providers, practitioners, survivors and the like) in the domestic violence community, but was hosted by some of the most noteworthy and reputable congressional members such as Senator Joe Biden (DE), Senator Mike Crapo (ID), Representative Jay Inslee (WA) and Representative Dan Burton (IN) in cohorts with the National Network To End Domestic Violence (NNEDV). 

The event?  An Annual Reception and Congressional Breakfast to thank Congress and others for their leadership to foster change and to make a call for next steps to end domestic violence.

There was so much purpose, passion and power in that room you would have thought by the end of the evening the sheer thought of domestic violence as an epidemic would be no more.  But, it’s just not so.  Domestic violence is one of the leading causes for 911 emergency calls, visits to the emergency room and homicide amongst women and children.

In meeting many powerful names, I have renewed faith that we will find a way to enforce real change.  Change for the nameless who are being victimized and even murdered everyday by an horrific epidemic.  As a survivor, a mother, an advocate, a woman, I have vowed to work with these notables to seek justice and become the voice for those who were present in spirit, but whose voices continue to be obliterated because they have not the resources nor the fortitude to ‘speak out’ on their own.

Beyond the scent of Braised Lamb, Coconut Shrimp and Merlot (my favorite), there was the scent of courage and passion for change.  Anyone who has ever helped a victim escape the traps of an abusive relationship . . .  Anyone who has ever witnessed the scaring on a woman’s face . . .  Anyone who has ever seen the emptiness in a child’s eye . . . Anyone who has ever . .  anything . . .  was in that room that night.  A sight that I will forever hold in the deepest corner of my heart.  A sight that I will take with me when I speak before Congress about the Saving Promise Campaign. 

Who knows?  Next year when I attend this event, I will not only be brushing polite elbows, I will be locking arms with those whom have encouraged, supported and cheered my journey to Congress.  The spirits of the nameless victims will be in attendance as well as a celebration of our victory for them, and the countless others to come.